Unavoidable Love
by XOurNewReligionX
Summary: Renesmee's different from the rest of the Cullen's. They're so perfect and set in their own ways and habits and always reining her in- when all she wants is to be free. And then there's Jacob. How will she ever see him as anything other than a brother?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so this was just a story that I had been thinking about for a while, and then during a show of the worlds most boring play EVER, i decided i might as well put it up and see what you all think. In the books, Renesmee is always seen as a golden child, really perfect. I just wondered what would happen if Renesmee didn't actually _like _her life with the Cullen's. So I started writing- and this is what I got.**

**Enjoy!! xx**

_Renesmee's Point of View _

Jacob was hovering again.

I could see him out of the cottage window, sat at the bottom of the huge oak tree. He was in human form again, and only wearing a thin red top and jeans, even though the cold night wind was cutting through the forest.

I sighed, and drew back before he saw me watching him. If he noticed me, he'd be up here in a second, seeing if he could get me anything, asking me why I wasn't asleep yet… It was like having a constant babysitter! He was always right _there. _Whenever I did anything remotely dangerous in his opinion, like walking along a three centimetre high wall or swimming in the lake, he'd be there, with his brow creased in worry, and his teeth tearing nervously at the skin on his thumb. He'd scamper over to my mum, and hiss, "Should she be doing that?" under his breath. As if I couldn't hear him! I had as good hearing as both of my parents, or anybody else in the family, for that matter.

I looked around my bedroom with a sigh. It was the same one that I had been given when I was born. The second, and largest bedroom in the small cottage in the middle of the forest.

I loved it. It had changed with me, grown up at the same time. I'd just lately redone it. Alice, my aunt, had wanted to help me, but I wanted it to be _my _room, to reflect _me. _I'd pained the walls a dark black, then had used my ever steady hand to paint a perfectly straight strip of silver at the top of the wall, rimming the room. I'd ordered a new bed over the internet, and struggled with the instructions of how to put it up- but I didn't ask for help. I didn't want _their _help.

I had looked around my brand new bedroom, and almost smiled.

It showed my real age now, which was sixteen from last week. I'd been looking forward to turning sixteen. It had come a lot faster to me than to an average human, but it was still real. Still counted.

I went and flopped on to my bed, shutting my eyes. I could still feel him out there, even though I could no longer see him. He wouldn't leave. Not until mum and dad got home from the main family home across the river. They hadn't wanted to leave me, but I had insisted. I knew that Grandma Esme missed them.

And as soon as they had left, Jacob had popped up from nowhere, and settled down at the bottom of his tree. With another groan, I turned on to my back, and frowned at the ceiling.

I had never been alone in my life. There had always been somebody there- mum, dad, Alice, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie, my grandparents - and Jacob. Always, always Jacob.

He had been there from the moment I was born- before even. It seemed sort of unfair to me that my life had already been planned out for me before I was even _born. _I hadn't even entered the world before the fates had decided that Jacob was the man that I would spend my life with. Longer than my life- forever. I would never have another boyfriend, because that would tear Jacob up too much, and also I would never feel the same pull towards any other boy as I knew I would soon start feeling for Jacob.

How many years would I have left of freedom before I started looking at him the way my dad looked at my mum? Before my heart no longer belonged to me anymore? I had seen the way my parents looked at each other- with such love burning in their eyes that you felt you had to look away as it was too private a moment to intrude upon. And I knew that someday, I would look at Jacob like that.

I wrinkled my nose. _Jacob! _He was like my brother! He had been my best friend when I was little, had played with me constantly, had let me fall asleep in his arms. He had been there the first time I had gone hunting, had seen me through all the embarrassing parts of my life that the man you're going to live the rest of your life with should never know about. I loved him, yes- but, at the moment, it was only in the same, harmless way that I loved my uncle's, or my dad. I loved spending time with him when he wasn't being so overprotective, and I knew that I would never in a million years be able to live without him, just as he would never be able to live without me, but sometimes, I just wished that I hadn't met him yet. I wished that I could have lived my childhood with just my family, then, maybe in a couple of years or so, have met him. That would have been perfect. We would have fallen in love at once, and I would then have been able to give my heart to him properly, without knowing that it had never actually belonged to me in the first place.

I just wish that I had had one year_, _one month, one _day _of knowing that my heart was mine, and I could give it to anyone I wanted to.

I had once mentioned my feelings to mum, and she had smiled sadly at me, making my face go all hot. She'd stroked my soft black hair, then hugged me close for a moment.

"Your heart always belongs to you." She whispered in my ear. I'd flinched away from her unexpected closeness, hating it.

"Yours doesn't." I pointed out.

She shook her head. "That's not what I meant. I meant that you _do _have the choice. I _chose _to love your dad, and no matter what people say, you still have the choice."

But she was wrong. She didn't understand. No matter what I did, and no matter what I said- I would never be aloud to choose.

I got off my bed again, and went back over to the window, looking out in to the dark. I could hear mum and dad approaching. They were coming back, but not running. Just walking at normal human speed.

Jacob heard them, too, and stood up, looking regretfully up to my window. I quickly side stepped out of his line of vision, and he sighed. At once, I felt guilty, but by the time I had moved back out in to the open, mum and dad had entered the clearing, and he had turned away.

"Hey, Jake." My mum greeted him cheerfully. She had her arm around dad, and smiled when she saw Jacob.

"Hello." Dad said, a little less warmly. I didn't know what the problem between dad and Jacob was- nobody had ever wanted to tell me, but I didn't mind. I wasn't sure I really _wanted_ to know.

"Thanks for staying, Jake," Mum continued. "You didn't have to. She would have been fine alone. She's got a very strong opinion about that!"

_Yeah! _I thought irritably.

"I don't mind." Jacob replied, and his answer was heart felt. He glanced up at my window again. "Say goodbye to her for me if she wakes up, okay?"

"Sure." Mum smiled, then waved him off.

Mum and Dad watched him go, then over to the house and let themselves in, as silent as the night.

I sighed and sat back down on my bed. Jacob was gone, and mum and dad were back. But I still wasn't alone.

****

Naturally, Jake was the first person I saw the next day.

He appeared at the door to our cottage, his face lighting up with excitement as he spotted me sat alone in the dining room. I self consciously glanced down. I was only wearing one of dad's old red shirts and a pair of shorts, which I usually slept in, and my dark hair was a mess.

I felt a flicker of annoyance as he pushed open the small door and bounced inside. Would it kill him to knock? And did he _always _have to be so cheerful? I mean, it had been what, five hours since he'd last seen me? Why did he always have to make it seem as though it had been years?

"Hey Nessie!" He said joyfully, throwing himself into a chair opposite me, totally oblivious to my bad mood- as usual.

"It's Renesmee." I said coolly. It was too early to bother with politeness. His musky, woody smell washed over me, and I wrinkled up my nose, and pushed my own chair away from the table, standing up. "Who thought up that stupid nick name anyway?" I added irritably.

I turned back in time to see Jacob's face fall. "Me." He said quietly.

I tried to muster up some sort of guilt at seeing him so hurt, but my anger over rode it. What did he expect? For me to be _pleased _that he had decided that I looked enough like the bloody loch ness monster to be named after it? Oh yes, I was so flattered. And this was coming from the guy who was supposed to be in _love _with me.

Though, I guess I didn't have a lot to thank my parents for either. _Renesmee! _Who holds their baby for the first time and is in such a bad mood that they I think, 'I know what will make her life hell! I'll call her some dumb ass name like Renesmee!'

I sounded like some sort of fricking fairy tale character. Like Repunzel. Or Snow White.

"Do you want a drink or something?" I muttered finally after the silence became awkward.

"I'll get it." Jacob said, jumping up as I reached for the kettle.

"I'm fine."

Jacob shook his head and prised the kettle from my hands with a small smile. "_I'll _do it." He said. Some small part of me realised he was only trying to be sweet, but anger was, as usual, the first emotion to surface.

I shoved the mug at his chest, knocking him backwards into the cabinet.

"Fine!" I hissed. "You do it then!"

And then I turned on my heel and marched right out the room, taking the stairs three at a time, and racing straight through to my bedroom. I slammed the door as hard as I could, so that it bounced twice before finally snapping shut.

Anger still pumping through me, I tore off my dad's old shirt and tugged on my tight skinny black jeans with a thick hoodie from some designer in New York. I didn't brother to memorise all the labels like my aunt Alice did. Turned out I was just as much of a disappointment to her as my mother was.

I was a disappointment to _everyone. _

With the last thought burning a hole in my heart, I stormed back down the stairs. Mum and dad were still in their bedroom, with the door tightly closed. I had learnt long ago that while the door was closed, if I didn't want my eyes burned out, it was probably better if I avoided going in at all costs, so I just hammered loudly on the door. The wood gave way a little, splintering under my fists and I growled loudly.

"Mum! Dad! I'm going out, 'kay?" I called, not bothering to raise my voice properly. They would hear me if I whispered. I turned to go, but before I could do three steps, the door was flung open, and mum stood on the threshold, tying a dressing gown around her waist.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

I shrugged. "Dunno."

Mum exhaled impatiently through her nose. "Come on, honey. I can't just let you run off on your own. You know that."

"Why _not?" _I demanded. "I'm _sixteen, _not four! What do you think I'm going to do- go out and get drunk with all my mates? Yeah, because I just have so many of _them, _don't I?" I scoffed.

Mum's brow furrowed as dad appeared beside her, wrapping his arm almost automatically around her waist.

I'd never had a single friend in my life. Leave out all my family members, and Jake was the only other one I'd ever hung around with. And he pissed me off so often that that could hardly be counted as _friendship. _

I think everyone had had some crazy idea that once I was born, the vampires and the werewolves would kind of mix- but it hadn't been like that at all. We still all avoided each other like a plague. In fact, I don't think I'd ever even met the people who Jake calls his family. He had suggested it more than once, but I guess I could just never be bothered.

Mum stretched out a hand and rested it on my shoulder, looking worried. "You alright, Nessie?"

_No! _I wanted to scream. _Of course I'm not alright! _I wanted to rage and storm at her. I wanted to punch down this stupid little house and flatten every single one of my family members for keeping me locked up like this, for making me _me. _

When I was a baby, and they'd first realised how fast I would be growing, they'd quickly concluded that I would never be able to go to school. Never be able to join any clubs or groups. Practically never be able to do _anything. _

I was the child everyone had always dreamt of, so I was loved desperately. _Too _desperately. I was stifled, suffocated, trapped.

And I hated them for it.

I hated my dad for getting my mum pregnant. I hated my mum for bringing Jacob into my life. I hated so much, too much. Sometimes, I would wake up in the middle of the night- and it would scare me when I thought of just how much anger I had stored up inside of me.

I was like a dormant volcano.

But everyone knows that volcano's have to erupt sometimes. And just sometimes, I wondered just how much damage I was going to cause when I did finally introduce my family to the real Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

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	2. Free Rein

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I was only three steps away from the house before my aunt Alice caught up with me. I just about had time to glance back through the window and see Jacob stood there, with the mug still hanging loosely from his fingers, and feel the beginning of uneasiness settle in my stomach, but then, as usual, I turned away- and there Alice was.

My face turned black. "What do you want?" I demanded.

Alice pouted. "Oh come on, don't be like that, Nessie!"

I clamped my teeth together, and ran my hands angrily through my tangled black hair. It was messy and unruly at the best of times, but today it was uncontrollable. Obviously, my parents had not passed down their own beautiful hair, and I'd also neither inherited my mum or dad's eyes. Mine were a weird kind of grey, though dad's were golden, and even when mum was human, hers had been a soft chocolate brown. I knew this for a fact, because I remembered them. I remembered them from the first time that my mother had ever held me. I felt a sudden tightness around my heart as I remembered the way she had looked at me. She had been in such pain, I had learnt later, but she had still been smiling. She had still looked at me like she was seeing the sun for the first time, still held me so delicately and so tenderly that it felt like she was handling some priceless and precious possession.

_But I had nearly killed her. _I reminded myself dully. Even from before I was born, I was Bad Luck. The kind of bad luck that had a capital letter at the front, and the kind that any other sane person avoids like the plague.

My eyes flittered shut for a moment as I tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to over whelm me. _I didn't fit in here!_ I had never fitted in here. Even when I was a baby, I had been different, and as I had grown, it had only become more and more apparent.

I was the odd one out.

Everybody else in this stupid family was happy. Happy living a lie, happy knowing that only a tiny, _tiny _percentage of the world would ever know the real them.

I just didn't get that.

I didn't get _anything _they did. They were vampires, monsters- so why not act like it? Why did they bother with all their stupid 'vegetarian' diets when they could have perfectly good human blood? Why did they still turn up at school every day and act as if they hadn't been in the same lesson a hundred times already? What was the _point?_

And then there was Jacob. Jacob, who was just as much an outcast as I was. Who loved me with every single ounce in his body, who couldn't live without me. He did the unforgivable and imprinted on a half vampire, the evil spawn of the enemies- and has never stopped paying for it since.

I desperately _want _to love him back, to make the sacrifice worth while, but every time I try to look at him as more than just a goofy friend, I just feel sick.

Feel sick because he is like a brother to me. Feel sick because he was in love with my _mother. _

No one even told me. My mum and dad were just talking about it once when I was a baby when they thought I was asleep. At the time, I hadn't really understood what they were on about, but when I found out about imprinting when I was ten, the conversation had come flooding back.

He had been in love with my mum. My _mum. _I mean, talk about off putting! Yuck!

And then what did that make me? The consolation prize? Like sorry, but Bella has chosen Edward, but don't worry- you can always have Renesmee. Great.

"Nessie?" Alice called waving her hand in front of my face. "What's wrong?"

"Everything." I replied coldly.

"Want to talk about it?"

I looked hard at her. "Do I ever?"

Alice put her head on one hand, wrapping an arm around my waist as she pulled me to a stop. She waited quietly until I finally looked at her, then whispered, "What's eating you, Ness?"

I pulled sharply away. "Nothing. Everything." I shook my head hard. "Just…go away, yeah?"

Alice glanced doubtfully back at the house. "Where's your mum?" She asked.

"I don't need my _mum _to be watching over me all the time!" I shouted, suddenly angry again.

We both heard the footsteps coming at the same time, and I relaxed as I recognised the sound of the light steps. Rose was coming. Rosalie was the only one who seemed to have ever understood me. I often thought that she knew me better than my own mother did. I would still sometimes catch Bella looking at me with a strange look in her eye, a question that was asking; _Where did she go wrong? _

With Rose, the more sour I got, the more she seemed to like me. She understood that we didn't need another perfect Cullen. I often thought that if it wasn't for Emmet, her husband, she would have left herself long ago.

"Rose." Alice and I said at the same time, but in quite different tones, as she sprinted smoothly into the clearing.

"I heard voices." She said in a bored voice, as a way of explanation.

"Good." I replied, then strode towards her. "Let's get out of here."

Rose hooked an arm around my shoulders, and we turned our backs on Alice and started to walk away.

"Do you want to go hunting later, Nessie?" Alice called after me, and there was underlying anger in her voice.

"It's Renesmee." Rose tossed back over her shoulder, shooting a grin at me. For a moment, I felt bad, but Rose's smile egged me on.

"Yeah, and no thanks, Alice. I think I can do better." I added, and to my delight, Rose laughed, a quick tinkling sound.

"Come on," She said, still smiling, "Let's go to the house."

Without looking back, she set off at a run. I hesitated for a moment. I didn't particularly like going to the house. It was where Carlisle and Esme, my grandparents, lived.

Sometimes, I thought that I hated them even more than I hated mum and dad. Carlisle was just so…_calm. _We were exact was always so understanding and quiet and rational- I was impulsive, always wanting to be at the fire of things. And Esme was so _cuddly. _She was always ruffling my hair or fussing around me, or just hovering at the door. I tried my best to ignore her mostly, but it was hard to do when she was acting like some kind of retarded mother hen.

"Come _on, _Renesmee!" Rose called impatiently. I frowned. I didn't like people telling me what to do. Not even Rose.

In a deliberate act of defiance, I turned on my heel, and started to walk in the opposite direction, but she was at my side again in a second.

"Okay, okay- sorry!" She said, putting her hands up as if I was a cop with a gun.

"Don't tell me what to do." I said coldly. "I get enough of that from Dad."

"Edward is bossy." She agreed, putting her arm around my waist and pulling me gently back towards the house. I fought for a moment, then relaxed against my favourite aunt. Rose was the only one who would talk ill of any other member of the family. She pretty much let me say whatever I wanted about anyone- apart from Emmett. She was fiercely protective of him.

We reached the house in minuets. My heart sank as it loomed in front of us, gorgeous, huge and old.

I could already hear the conversations going on from inside. No prizes for guessing who the topic was.

"Nessie's in a bad mood again."Alice, the little rat, said as I listened to her walk down the stairs. Jasper followed like her shadow. I thought he was a bit sad to follow her around so much- he was yet another reason I didn't want to fall in love with Jake too fast. Who would want somebody desperately tailing them all the time?

"Again?" Esme said sadly.

"Isn't she always?" Emmet joked lightly, but there was an underlying threat in his tone. After Rose, he was the next person I could get on with best. He was light and easy going. He reminded me of a happier version of myself sometimes.

I sped up, making my footsteps loud so they'd stop talking about me. They never actually said anything _bad, _but there were always those little comments that really got on my nerves.

I pushed open the back door and walked straight into the kitchen. The living room had fallen silent, and a second later, Esme arrived in the doorway.

"Renesmee!" She sang, overly happily to see me. She stretched out her arms to hug me, but I stepped away. Her face fell.

I hadn't noticed Carlisle come up behind me. "That wasn't very nice, Renesmee." He said coldly. I gritted my teeth together.

"So?"

"So apologise."

I laughed, a hard, cruel sound, then pulled open the fridge, searching through it, wrinkling my nose up at the contents. I could eat human food, being half human, but I preferred blood, just like my father. I shuddered at the comparison. I didn't want to be like him in _anything. _

"Leave it, Carlisle." Esme murmured, touching his arm, but he shook her off almost angrily. Esme was the one thing that he would really raise an argument about.

"While you're in my house, you follow my rules." He said tersely.

I slammed the fridge door shut, then span around to glare at them. "Fine then!" I shouted. "Fine then, I'll go!"

I stormed my way back across the kitchen, then glanced back to find Jasper and Alice watching with unimpressed expressions. They just made my anger intensify.

"Enjoying the show, are you?" I hissed, then ran straight out the door before they could see my tears.

"Oh, Carlisle." I heard Esme groan.

"Somebody needs to tell her." He insisted. "Nessie's been on a free rein for far too long now."

I span around when I reached a hill, and bawled back, "It's RENESMEE!"

And then I slumped down on the grass as the tears finally came rushing down my face.

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	3. Last Time

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The tears fell surprisingly easily. They flooded down my cheeks as I slumped down on the damp grass. I pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and resting my head on my knees. My tears soaked through my jeans, and when I wiped my eyes, my fingers turned black from the amount of eye make up I was wearing.

I can't remember where it all went wrong, when my mother suddenly turned from a saint in my eyes. I knew there was a time when I used to ask for her all the time, pine for her when she was gone- but that was a long, long time ago.

As I grew up, I just grew away. Suddenly, I stopped laughing, stopping playing. I wanted to be able to run as far as I wanted, but mum was always there to haul me back, and I began to resent her for it. I had never got on with dad, who was too like Carlisle in my eyes. He was strict, bossy and old fashioned. I can remember looking at him as a young child, and wondering what my mother ever saw in him. Even his speech was stilted with the accent of a much older man than he appeared. Was it _that _hard to pick up modern slang language?

Alice was too bossy, too constantly filled with life. I hated it when she tried to dress me up in silly clothes, and I hated it even more when she sighed at me and called me a disappointment, even if she grinned at me and riffled my hair afterwards. I always scowled and flinched away when she did that, but she never really picked up in the fact that I hated it.

Jasper simply never really developed a character in my eyes. He was just Alice's shadow, so hopelessly dependant on her that it irritated me. He was just somebody to put up with.

And then there was Emmet and Rosalie. Rosalie was…she was like me. We both were somehow detached from the burning happiness of the family, more plain sighted than the rest of them, unable to see past the fog that obscured both our eyes.

In Rosalie's case, the fog was caused simply because of what she was. She was different from the rest of them. Their lives had been nearly over when they'd been changed- hers had only just been beginning. She'd been getting ready to get married, planning a child. She had everything laid out in front of her; to have that snatched away when it was so close still seemed unbearably unfair to Rose.

I knew that she would give up anything, everything, just to have humanity back. The rest of her family. Emmett, even. Me.

Emmett was…bearable. I guess I could stand him, because he was the one person, apart from Rose, who actually gave me a break, a space to breathe in. He didn't fuss all over me all the time, didn't make sure that I was safe at every single moment. I realised long ago that that was simply because he didn't care that much, but I didn't resent him for that fact. I was pleased, even. Finally, proof, that there were bad feelings between the unbreakable bond of the Cullen family.

I just didn't fit _in _here! I didn't fit in with their silly vegetarian eating habits, with all their happy little couples and contented smiles. They distanced themselves from any danger, from any other vampire covens- and I hated that. I wanted to be in the middle of it all, to feel the rush of danger on a daily basis.

So what was stopping me? What was stopping me from just standing up and walking away right now? It would be easy to break away the strings that connected me to the rest of my family; they were frail, easily broken things anyway. Rosalie's would be a little harder, because I cared about her a little more, but it wouldn't be impossible. Not by a long shot.

And then there would just be one last person that I would need to say goodbye to. I wouldn't make him wait for me. I wouldn't expect him to stand around for ten years or more while I went off to find my place in the world. So then there was only one thing for it. I would have to leave him too.

"Nessie?"

I jumped at the sound of my name, an unusual thing for me, because normally I heard people long before I saw them.

I dragged my sleeve across my face, getting rid of the worst of the tears before I turned. I knew who it would be. It was almost as if fate was pushing us together, willing me to finally set him free. I could smell that woody, almost musty smell that went with him. As I sniffed the air, something deep inside of me relaxed. It was almost as if I had been waiting for him, as if I hadn't been able to breathe properly while he had been gone…

I jumped to my feet, panicked. It wasn't starting already, was it? The effects of the imprinting? But I was only _just _sixteen! That was hardly fair!

I felt angry tears spring back to my eyes, and my hands clenched in response. I never normally cried. I was much more of a suffer-in-silence sort of person.

"Ness?" Jacob repeated, but this time, my name was coloured with worry. A second later, burning hot arms wound around my thin arms, pulling them from my side so he could hold me properly.

I was too shocked to move for a moment. Jake _never _hugged me. Not through lack of trying- I always pushed him away when he got too close for comfort. But he had taken me by surprise- again. That wasn't a pleasant thought.

I allowed myself three seconds of happiness, right there, safe and warm in Jacob's arms, and then I forced myself to focus again. I somehow managed to find the will to stretch out my arms and twist them around to reach his chest so that I could push against it. Pushing him _away. _

He responded at once, ducking his head. I watched him curiously. There was a strange expression on his face. It took me a moment to recognise it. Rejection. Wistfulness. Impatience.

I pushed the guiltiness that followed these words away quickly. His pain wasn't my problem. _He _wasn't my problem. Not anymore.

"What do you want, Jacob?" I asked wearily.

"Nothing in particular." He muttered, looking down again. "I just…I just wanted to see you."

"Why?" The word was small.

Jacob groaned and ran his fingers through his short hair. "You _know _why, Ness. Don't do this. I like hanging out with you. I enjoy your company."

My hands curled into fists, my short nails digging into my skin. It felt good to feel physical pain. Made a change from mental pain. "My name's not 'Ness'." I glared at the floor by his feet while I spoke.

Jacob held out his hands in surrender. I didn't like that- that little sign of weakness. Why would he never fight me properly?

My sudden anger made my next words sound like an accusation. "You love me, don't you? That's why you came to see me."

Jacob looked uncomfortable again. Almost sub consciously, he raked his hand through his hair again, something he only did when he was agitated. "We've been through this, Nes-I mean, Renesmee. I _do _love you, in a way- but right now, I only care about you. I want you to be happy, I want you to be safe. I want…"

"But what about what _I _want?" I demanded suddenly. Jacob was shocked into silence for a moment.

He stumbled for words. "I wasn't saying that what you wanted didn't matter, Renesmee, hell no. I was just saying that I don't want you to feel pressurised into anything that…"

Again, I didn't let him finish. I cut him off with a sharp shake of my head. "How can I _not _feel pressurised?" I demanded. "How can I _not _feel like the whole world is ganging up on me, like I never got any choice in this? If you _really _wanted what was best for me, you would have left when I was a baby, Jake. When you first realised."

"I couldn't do that." He whispered, and those few words were so torn, so agonised.

Again, I pushed the guiltiness that spread through me like venom away.

"What if I asked you to?" My breathing was quick, coming in short gasps through my nose.

My words hung for a few moments in the air. I watched Jacob curiously. He looked…staggered. He was swaying slightly, and his expression was nothing more than shocked.

"You…You're…you want me to go?" He words stumbled over each other, and there was a separate panic in each of them as he tried them out in that order.

I carefully detached myself from the part of me that wanted to run straight into his arms and never let go. "Yes." I said calmly.

He blinked a few times, then ran a hand down over his face, covering his eyes for a moment, controlling whatever emotion he didn't want me to see. Then he suddenly lurched forward, his words eager. "You don't mean this, do you, Renesmee? You don't really want me to leave? Maybe we should take a break from each other, yes, maybe that's a good idea. It will give us time to sort things out, and then I can come back, right, Ness? Right? _Right?_"

"Wrong." I whispered. I was doing what I'd always wanted, I was finally separating myself from Jake.

So why did I feel as if I was tearing myself in two in the process?

He took a deep, ragged breath. "Please don't do this." He was begging me, his face screwed up against the tears. "Please…please."

I waited until I was sure my voice wouldn't tremble, then I said clearly. "I can't, Jake. Leave. Go. Right now. Run out of this clearing and never come back. That's all I'm asking for. Can you do that for me?"

Jacob's eyes met mine, and in that moment, I knew that he would run off a cliff if it made me smile. I knew that he would jump into a pot of burning acid if I asked him to. So I wasn't surprised when he carefully straightened himself out, pulled his expression back into a poker face, then reach forward to kiss my cheek one last time, his own cheek only lingering against mine a second longer than was necessary. My eyes closed.

And then he pulled away. I felt the cold air hit my face, surrounding me as he let me go, heard the rough, hard patter of his footsteps move away…then I slowly opened my eyes, and looked around.

The clearing was empty.

Jacob Black was gone.

**Ahhhh Jake....Sadie will NOT be happy with this :)**


End file.
